adult male rape, Recovery, trauma, Uncategorized, Video

This conversation continues, based on my perspectives and experiences through rape and recovery. My intention with these conversations is to encourage an understanding of what the act of rape actually is like for many of us. More importantly the process of recovery and living an abundant better and brighter life through the process.

No rape or trauma experience is the same, yet there are many similierties in the after effects and after care. Within the soft walls of these talks I share my concepts of love and recovery.

This particular talk is designed for those who may be supporting a loved loved one on the mend. And finding it difficult to understand the emotional shut downs or “triggers” behind a projected emotional illusional exterior.

Love and Light Always
The Empowered Runt

A BRIGHTER UNDERSTANDING PART II

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adult male rape, Recovery, trauma, Video

Through my own experiences of loss and attraction. Both of friendships and family, as I have flowed jagged and soft through my journey of rape, trauma, addiction, self re-discovery and life expansion. I have felt moved to open up and document these sessions. These talks are based primarily on my own experiences with a clear understanding that many of us who are reclaiming our minds, bodies, emotions, sexualities and the rest of our lives. Share many common bounds as we ascend our chosen greater paths of living once more.

These particular talks are designed for those who may offer up open hearts and hands. Assisting a loved one on their journey and finding the process of healing sluggish, frustrating and confusing and perhaps not understanding why healing and a return to a “normal” life is not taking place as you find fit. Or in the time frame that is within your expectations.

These talks are from a s survivors perspective in hopes of providing a fresh layer of understanding. One that may not always be able to be taught by Flat text reading. Sometimes, no matter how empathetic an individual may be. It can be very difficult to fully understand the pain of another without the experience of rape and trauma. I wish my gang rape upon no one, nor the wicked trip to needle park.

Love and Light Always
The Empowered Runt

A BRIGHTER UNDERSTANDING PART I

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adult male rape, Video

CHAMPIONS of TRAUMA
Champions of trauma is a one shot video and the first in a series designed to open an honest dialogue. Surrounding adult male trauma, specifically male on male adult rape. A topic I have not been able to find much information on throughout my investigative digs. I have located statistics, information, support and videos in regards to other forms of assault and rape. Primarily childhood, female on male, or prison assault, molestation and rape. All important and deserving of attention, yet my searches have always left me feeling as if I where walking this earth alone. I know of course I am not, after one last internet search and much healing. I reached a point where I feel comfortably ready to begin a conversation in my own way.

My goals are to always be honest, open and loving. My perspectives are primarily based on my own personal experiences. What led to the evening of my assaults, the event, the after effects and most importantly the healing and hope. Some of these talks will be focused on in up coming videos in this series.

SILENCE
I feel that the social stigma attached to male rape is so intense, that it keeps many men from coming forward. Like many rape warriors, shame and denial often prevents the survivor from reporting the crime, seeking help or even admitting to themselves that the assault had taken place. Especially in particular cultures and communities, in my own community when I attempted to speak of my experience the responses have been almost always dismissive. We all deserve to be heard, we all deserve to heal and we all deserve to extend a hand to another should we choose.

EVERY LIFE HAS VALUE
Gay straight and genders in-between rape is rape, no means no and yes means yes. Not dealing with a trauma can lead to some heavy and dark results. Know that you have a voice and your words do matter. Your life has immense value and hope can be the mightiest of tools when you think you have nothing left to loose. Everyday is a new day and it is just the beginning of the rest of your journey. There is no guilt, there is no shame, no reset buttons, no wrongs, and healing has no time frames. You are absolutely the most important person in your life and 200% worth loving and fighting for.

Love and Light Always
The Empowered Runt+++

CHAMPIONS of TRAUMA

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pond, Video

Take a sensual slip into my “pond” a seasonal escape place of imagery and write. Soon to be set to rest, as summer slips into autumn afore winters undesired stay.

Shifts in winds off mid-west lakes may feel like razor lacerations across my flesh. Yet I will continue to journey through with my experimentations and growth. In all aspects of life, most importantly spirituality art and my fellow man.

As this soldier marches forward, I appreciate my past while I remains focused calmly on the now as the futures seep near.

Love and Light Always
The Empowered Runt – lil Big R

POND

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columbuspark, Video, wallpaper

MOODY’S TEMPLE:
Is a gratitude energy offering of thanks to all of those who have shown support throughout my journey. The outpouring over these last few weeks over my artistic adventures have been overwhelming-Thank You! Though the gunk, funk and the love since the end of July. I have attracted and been attracted to the perfect souls and situations. Some friends I have not seen in many years, new faces and now there is room in my expanding heart for new friends. A space that I have kept shut down without even knowing it for so very long.

My appreciations I offer symbolically, the best way I know how. With a stimulation eruption to both ear and eye. As I continue my exploratory play with motion-paper’s. Rooted in the unexpected ignored landscapes found along nearby expressways. These visuals capture the beauty I find on my morning strolls. I find life where some only see decay, vitality where at first one may sense the still, always within the dark I seek light.

This is my slosh of grit, greens, filth, and sun. A little bit of heaven, both natural and manufactured. A sliver of global glory just relaxing as if it where on holiday. Playing at the dunes or shore only here amongst the fumes and noise. Now toss in a Cerrone soundtrack (one of the royals of euro disco) and I have myself a perfect end of summer visual vacation.

Love and Light Always
The Empowered Runt – lil Big R

Music: Cerrone Music of Life 1978

MOODY’S TEMPLE

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Video

KALEIDOSCOPE X1A: Industrial Worship

I stroll enjoying an endless sensory splendor, as life rolls and unfolds before me. Oh, how these sweet eyes of mine drink in the carnival wallpaper before me. A fusion of nature and man made discarded clutteorment. A perfectly landscaped oasis found at the edge of the expressway near my home. Many I am sure view this urban lot to be just another caged wasteland, hungry for development. A collective of bric-o-brac’s and forgotten city works battling battle it out with wildflowers and weeds in hopes of reclaiming ancient turf.

I see the music, I hear the joy, I feel the beauty in the discarded. This is my experience these days from the grotesque to gloss it’s all the same. Although I retain my sensitivities – Peace

Love and Light Always
The Empowered Runt – lil Big R

KALEIDOSCOPE X1A:

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Recovery, Video

MY INWOOD LOVE AUDIO/VISUAL FORMAT

In honor of Inwood, a neighborhood nestled at the northern tip of the Isle of Manhattan. It’s streets, sounds, rhythms, smells, and parks. Most of all to my humble shack, just four flights up and to the right. Number 4J at 204 Sherman Ave. This is where light, love, sex, trauma, addiction, joy, sorrow and so much more swirled delicate and thick. Turning this home into the hyper-spastic launch pad that allowed me to rip open my soul. Digging so deep into the gutter of my life it actually penetrated into past existences.

Finally brave enough to embrace, bash and dance with the muck and miracles of my past. All of them equally important to the development of my flesh, spirit and story in other words, this life of mine.

Eventually I finished that chapter of learning and now with my “damaged” self  on the mend. And a let’s get the show on the road attitude brewing. I finally had become ready to face the creation of this “visual therapy.” This is my final release, at last I am able to let go. Rather than breaking down, I lit up through this process. Now that is change, sweet ass mother clucking change.

I love every moment of every one of these experiences that flick through this “clip-o-tage”.  Dark or light, I never will insult my existence my wishing things had been different.  Perhaps I am fooling myself, but I still stand by my word I live with zero regrets. I am here, I share story, people respond this is living even when I fuck up I am growing-life rocks.

Yes, indeed every life matters, every minute, every word, every experience-they are who we are. Finally I can say I like who I am, better yet I like the people in the world around me because of who I have become. Again that is pretty fucking awesome!

Love and Light Always
The Empowered Runt-lil Big R

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