Recovery, Video

MY INWOOD LOVE AUDIO/VISUAL FORMAT

In honor of Inwood, a neighborhood nestled at the northern tip of the Isle of Manhattan. It’s streets, sounds, rhythms, smells, and parks. Most of all to my humble shack, just four flights up and to the right. Number 4J at 204 Sherman Ave. This is where light, love, sex, trauma, addiction, joy, sorrow and so much more swirled delicate and thick. Turning this home into the hyper-spastic launch pad that allowed me to rip open my soul. Digging so deep into the gutter of my life it actually penetrated into past existences.

Finally brave enough to embrace, bash and dance with the muck and miracles of my past. All of them equally important to the development of my flesh, spirit and story in other words, this life of mine.

Eventually I finished that chapter of learning and now with my “damaged” self  on the mend. And a let’s get the show on the road attitude brewing. I finally had become ready to face the creation of this “visual therapy.” This is my final release, at last I am able to let go. Rather than breaking down, I lit up through this process. Now that is change, sweet ass mother clucking change.

I love every moment of every one of these experiences that flick through this “clip-o-tage”.  Dark or light, I never will insult my existence my wishing things had been different.  Perhaps I am fooling myself, but I still stand by my word I live with zero regrets. I am here, I share story, people respond this is living even when I fuck up I am growing-life rocks.

Yes, indeed every life matters, every minute, every word, every experience-they are who we are. Finally I can say I like who I am, better yet I like the people in the world around me because of who I have become. Again that is pretty fucking awesome!

Love and Light Always
The Empowered Runt-lil Big R

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Images, Selfportraits

SMOKE & MIRRORS

It took some time before I could fully embrace without regret my life in apartment 4J. Much of it was clear and beautiful the rest was smoke and mirrors perhaps cloudy is a better word. Now I look back with a full appreciation for every inch and every minute. The peace the calm the sleaze the love and the light no wrongs all rights.

Love and Light Always
The Empowered Runt-lil Big R

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Video

Inwood Bodega


For Martha-Marie K

The World is My Home

Almost daily I wrestle with the idea of a return voyage to reclaim New York as my personal, artistic and spiritual settlement. My mind often suggest head west young man. Or southeast to explore the comfort, warmth and new territories when in reality I know I will settle overseas. Yet New York City for me will always be a magnet, it always has been. The fact of the matter is New York is my natural home. As a creature obsessed with every street corner perfectly staged for visual stimulation, conversation and inspiration. I have ricocheted several times over the years in desperation between NY and Chi-town for various reasons. Each separation has left me completely empty. Much like an orphan who has lost his parents in a tragic unexpected accident. With each magnetic return feeling as if I am the harp and she, the city knows exactly how to pluck every living cord within me.

What I must remember is I am now living and creating a new life. I no longer am entrapped by insufficient thoughts. At this stage I take time to pause and remember, now I live according to what I choose to create. Never a victim of self or anyone else’s thoughts, actions or deeds. I am only limited by what I envision. Why would I choose to be limited to never traveling or venturing anywhere in the world. Or strictly living in one place f-o-r-e-v-e-r. Once I removed my mind shackles, thoughts began to rise and bubble over without any effort. What? I actually have the option to live in multiple places and travel at the same time. What? New York, Spain, Italy, San Francisco, and Mars are not being removed from existence next week…lol (I must maintain a sense of humor always)

I have revisited, rediscovered, reclaimed and revised my value system of self-care and self-love. I have chosen to live an expanded life. I am committed to this journey heart, mind, body and soul for myself and another. I am here for the long haul and for the record my higher power and I don’t skimp on benefits or good will.

Love and Light Always

The Empowered Runt – lil Big R

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